Paradise

by Dagwood

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1.
02:30
2.
03:07
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03:50
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03:41
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03:11
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04:35
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02:22
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03:36
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about

This is our first full length record. It is available here for free or for whatever price you want.

Purchase the record here: www.dagwood.bigcartel.com


NOTE: This record is best played at maximum volume. Blow out your speakers, light them on fire, throw them off the roof and then dive onto them.

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credits

released 21 October 2011

tags

license

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Track Name: Paradise
Tell me what I gotta do
When nothings handing me the chance
I sat outside for forty minutes dragging air deep through my chest
When I finally took the action your trail led me nowhere new
Its the same thing I always do
Yeah its the same thing that I do and do again

A separate entity is coiling through my soul
And its under your control
And keeps me from feeling whole
Beauty it surrounds me but this situation keeps me thinking...
I take a breath
And get a grip
I feel a second of reality and the rest Im feeling sick
Its like I can almost remember the pain that might inflict
I play the future all the time and watch it deep inside my head

Your alone
At the end of your bed
And Im home
And I cant stop biting my nails
Need a little love?
Only need to open an eye
Walk down your street and see that you reside in paradise

I just cant stop thinking..
Track Name: Guilt
Everythings been falling into place
But I can see the hint of the sinking guilt held in your face
And as you drive by I close my eyes
And my body contracts as the headlights shine
Will there ever come a night
When you catch me in the act and you ask me why

The guilt thats trapped inside mes flowing through my chest
Its shooting through my fingernails and down my legs
Im staring at the broken life that I create
How did I do the damage from so far away
This guilt
Oh this guilt held in my head
Its coming back through the door, and up through the floor is it ever
Ever going to end?

Everythings been falling into place
But I know that your somewhere on the planet wide awake
In fact I know where
And Im pretty sure that you think that I dont care
But all this time that I have not been around Ive been neck deep trying to find myself

Sitting back and watching everyone I love
Upset and disapointed in what theyve become
When everybodys growing up and moving on
Your lost and youre abandoned nowhere to belong

I didnt come with a lifetime gaurentee
Dont waste your whole life waiting around for me
Track Name: Bone Dry
I cant believe that your still here
I thought for sure youd leave within this year
When my head went places others might not even think of
I made no attempt so my phone rings again and again...

And Ill admit Im always lying to myself
Just to make me feel tough, make me feel fucked up
Theres so many I lost count
Im digging deep for problems that Im still not even faced with yet
I know it doesnt make sense but its how its always been
My brains a backwards mess

December right through september
Our movements still our time could never end
Were only somedays but never always
The problems never yours and Ill never say it is

I cant believe you havnt asked
How I navigate my way straight to the place you stand
Its a sick obsession that I have
Trust me theres more where that came from, theyll soon spew through the cracks inside my head

Trust me youll never know whats coming next in line
The thoughts I never write down and never say out loud
And secrets that shake my spine
And all your friends there probably talking about me now
Asking you why I cant put two and two together

Why does it feel like all your friends are lunging down my neck?
For things they could have easily not even thought of yet
I havnt heard a word but I feel the tension down my back
Her friends think I am weird and they hit the nail right on the head
Track Name: Planning/Projecting
Now that Im right where I wanted
Forget the reasons why I started
Building up for something else thats just around the bend
I dont know where I want to go
Or in which ways I want to grow
The only lifestyle that I know is my toiling and turning and playing pretend

Planning and projecting
Im sitting stuck here in my mind again
Planning and projecting
Never propels me very far
Planning and projecting
It gives my thoughts no way of getting outta here
Planning and projecting
Never propels me far at all

Always living in the future
Im hoping it could get here sooner
But when its here it will be now and Ill be waiting for whats next
Ill say one day
Ill pass through this
Ill sink deep
Into true bliss
This mindset holds me still inside my chronic discontent

Never propels me very far
Planning and projecting
It gives my thoughts no way of getting outta here
Planning and projecting, are two completely and totally different things now
Never propels me far at all

Planning and projecting
Planning and projecting baby
Planning and projecting
Never propels me very far

And Ill be churning all night long
Track Name: Closing Up
Finish a half a cup of coffee
You bet your life today Ill be walking
As sixteen year olds and blind and deaf people breeze the sidewalk where I stay
Everybodys gone through it, I tried to join today but I couldnt
Im treating this like it is some sort of impossible accomplishment
Is something wrong with me?

Im closing up

Im rolling up and down the main street
Im going crazy, still incomplete
A new void rolls in just as I roll out of the driveway by myself
And I agreed to do something that I did not want to do
Yeah well here we go again, it seems this road will never end
And ive completed a full circle
(my wind is blowing too fast)

Im closing up

Yeah well sometimes I forget that Im even alive
Im always so connected and vulnerable and Im numb when Im surrounded by flourescent lights
And this feeling fills me head to toe to the point where I cant feel a thing
And Im still terrified of you
And I think of what these days may bring

Im closing up, again

Dont think
Allow and react
Roll with the change and let the change happen
Times up
Let go of the past
Im scared of losing illusions that I think I am
Dont think
Allow and react
Roll with the change and let the change happen
I cant, sit back and relax
Let go of something as minor and petty as this
Track Name: No Brain
I got good advice this afternoon
I heard the truth behind your voice and you knew I wouldnt follow through
Because I
Im scared
And you would laugh if I explained
Yeah just a quick simple word from me to you would end a lifelong trail of pain

I dont know myself
And everybody sees it
I dont know myself
My skin it feels transparent
I just dont know what to say when someone says something to me
When I plan ahead and gain mental strength
Im so deep in my mind that Ive got no brain today

I go through cycles the second I shake hands with someone
Youll say Im alright, until I wake you up in the morning
Its these kinds of things that make me think about my existence
Will I grow up or will this phantom haunt and follow me along?

Im scared of everything in a world that spins beneath my feet
Im scared of everything and this sinking guilts not leaving me
And I see you come my way and Im obligated to say hi or wave
Im scared of everything and this sinking guilts not leaving me today

I dont know myself and everyone sees through me today
Track Name: Time Apart
My youth is falling apart all inside one week
Im in the middle of it all
A smaller death has just occured in my lap and now its buried in the yard
And is it wrong that the face of this has forced me into something good?
But its been covered up by the turbulence and now Im truely by myself
Here right now

Lately we havnt talked and today I saw that youve been hangin round somebody else
I called you up, lost control of myself
And words they flew out of my mental hell
But that was just my pain body, but if I told you that youd probably call me crazy
Send you a text and you wont answer it back
Yeah the tables have slowly turned on me quickly

Lately
I wanna lie by your side and hear you think
And I cant hide that Ive been sinking deep this week
When I try not to think this way no more
I shove my conscious through the floor

I know that you lied
Although I never thought youd be the type
I didnt answer the phone when you were cold and alone
And now Im hiding in your driveway at night
(You)
Your not lonely
You ignore me
You werent for me
(So I got what I want but its not what I want anymore)

And is it funny how things have turned around now?
You pulled me face first out of a cloud

In two years I never gave you a chance I never gave you the attention you needed
And now Im stuck with a consequence Im off the tracks sitting looking defeated
Cause Im not quite sure how to connect
With anyone I come in contact with
So please dont take offense to the things I said
I know its not how you oughta be treated

Lately
Come On, baby
Track Name: Time Alone
And so Ill smile and wave
And you dont see through me
Cause your seeing me through something
And I know just why this place attracts me
Yeah that bright white light of Emilys back in my head

My pupils white and im getting unhealthy
But you say you want to reach out and touch me
All alone with my shirt off waving to Shela
At 2:30 am and shes sad that Im leaving, now

This playful game
It inhabits me
Faces fade
And still they spin

When Im alone im a different person
Youll never know just what I like doing
Is this me, or did I go too deep?
Home and Im alone theres nothing left to do but think about it

This playful game
It inhabits me
And id be lying if I said
That this obsessions soon to be dead

OH WOOOOAH OH!
Track Name: Mental Cave
This past year has been a blur
I sunk deep in myself and got way too safe and secure
And my lifes so soft that I dont have to even move
So my mind it starts to brew
It simulates the truth
I try to build my personality
But theres something in my spirit staring back at me
And outside sources
And peoples voices getting pulled through my mental parade

Mental cave

So here I go, Im at it again
Spirituality it made my ego thick
Cant even have a good time around my friends
(cause i try too hard)
This ride around the block never seems to end
(cause i try too hard)

We shoveled snow and threw our backs out, spent the day outside
Love and warmth just outside of my door but still I got something to hide
Stress and fear pulse through my veins, even when things are going fine

Cause I try too hard to touch nature
I try to meditate
But my minds not quiet for more than 30 seconds

My life is ticking away
Mental Cave

My life is ticking away, ticking away
In my mental cave, mental cave
Mental Cave
Track Name: Yesterday's Energy
I thought those thoughts of mine were gone, but now I feel them crawling back in me
I thought I managed self control, and drove the past out of my skull
But now that mes going right back to sleep
These vibrations shake me up and pour right over me till I cant even think or see the sky
And theres one who rules this all and Im only fueling there control and keeping them from finding there true path in life

Made a mistake the other day, woke up this morning trying to handle it the best way that I can
Now thats something I wouldnt do about a year or so ago but now my sense of beings learning how to stand
I finally gave myself space for one day and then I finally felt alive and felt aware
Ive been spending forty bucks a week just to let someone hear me speak
And now Im losing track of all that I declared

Trying to be present like I once was in the past
Why is it so hard for me to stay in present tense?
Trying to get back into yesterdays energy
The act is going upstream
My minds got a hold of me
Trying to get back into yesterdays energy
The act it is strangling me
My minds got a hold of me now

But now Im taking a conscious breath
I take a look at the leaves and see them swaying back and forth
Now Ive finally found myself
Nothing more than the peacefulness residing in my soul
Tomorrow and yesterday
Have never been true to me
So why is yesterdays energy
Trying to crawl in my mind today

This dead end problem
Is never ending
This dead end problem
is ever changing always losing its shape

This dead end problem
Is ever changing but its keeping its frame